oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
