absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
