I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
