I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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