We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
