that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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