Soap is not a condiment
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac