i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
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Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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