Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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