Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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