Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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