do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
