he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.