i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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