i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize