At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
