i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
