what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize