i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
