You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize