Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
