Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
