I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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