I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I cockslap morals
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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