Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
