Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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