You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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