I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My life is pants optional.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize