Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He has the fingertips of a God
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