I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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