On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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