yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
