Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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