Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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