wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
