Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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