I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
