So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize