new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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