Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
