I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
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I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
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Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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