Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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