its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
foreskin is a definite game changer
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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