yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
