i don't like sucking hair
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
