She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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