this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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