I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You work out of a Hotel?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
