Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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