So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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