I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
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Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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