Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
