very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
