Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
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Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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