Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
