she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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