he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize