Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
